A Vast Wasteland

The FCC Chairman under John Kennedy declared television a vast wasteland. As a Baby Boomer I was the first generation growing up as television evolved.
The ancestry of modern television can be traced back to these first shows aired. The faces have changed over the years. The basic concept of commercial television has changed little. In the infancy broadcast television was free. Just turn on your set wait eight minutes, then bang the top three times. Kinda like waking up your Grandpa.

Shows like Queen for a Day were watched by housewives performing domestic responsibilities. Queen for a Day was a show where contestant recounted endless streams of horrible events in their lives. Everything from dead husbands to crippled children were offered as evidence of their plight. The applause meter would flash upon the screen followed by 3 minutes of soap and tea commercials and then the host would announce the show would supply her with a new washing machine or swing set for the kids. Both were free to the show for the sound bite of advertising. The show and manufacturer were seen as benevolent Philanthropists. In later years the American Housewife went to work and these shows were replaced with Jerry Springer. Judge Nobody and Oprah Winfrey. Theses shows were to entertain the stay at home Welfare Moms. I have always thought that Jerry Springer and Sally Jesse Raphael were the same person in drag. Sally Jesse Raphael's name was copied from a bottle of Paul Newman salad dressing.

Another favorite was Beat the Clock. Here team contestant were challenged to perform mindless tasks under the pressure of a 5 foot diameter egg timer. Usually required at least one blindfold adding to the suspense.

The concept of TV is to enlist the public to entertain the masses with minimal compensation and huge profits for the networks and producers. The single caveat is the ratings. People must tune in to watch the stream of advertising. The viewer believes it's free when it's nothing more than paid advertising in your home. All the class of Georgia Billboard in your living room.

My personal favorite was The Millionaire. This show centered on eccentric billionaire John Baers Fortipton who challenged his emissary Michael Anthony to locate a specific deserving person and hand deliver a anonymous cashiers check for one million dollars. While some of us were waiting on Superman I waited for Michael Anthony. That was fifty years ago and I've often wondered if my check got caught up in natural disaster or 5 dollar gasoline.
All of television today is a product of these first shows. After the writer's strike the networks made a quantum leap inventing "Free Work or Work for Free Concept". American Idol is on prime time TV two or three nights a week. The show is centered on the elimination of contestants who perform for free and the viewing audience votes for a fee digitally for their favorite. You can vote as many times as you can afford. The contestants work for free and then the viewer pays to vote. (brilliant and spooky) Just like a real election. The elimination continues until only one is left and declared winner of American Idol. The winner then receives a contract for $100,000 dollars. A small payday for the winner and billions in revenue for the networks.

I have little interest in American Idol but, I am however very intrigued by the voting. I should reveal I get my news from Jon Stewart's Daily Show and my comedy on CSPAN.
Maybe we should consider electing our President with digital popular voting. We would get rid of our conventions, party affiliations and electoral college and vote by phone or E-mail. Not only would it be cheaper we could create revenue selling each vote. If Our Founders had electronics they would have never endorsed our current archaic system of voting They worked with the technologies of the day.

I would suggest a three prong panel similar to Idol. My pick would be famous former public service candidates John Edwards, Rod Blagojoviech and Nancy Peloisi. John Edwards edged out John Ensign because Edwards wife was dying of cancer and her illness was shamelessly used throughout Edwards failed campaign.

We would need a Master of Ceremonies and I propose hands down George W Bush. He's not working, some would say never has worked. The Bush Administration broke the glass ceiling for stupid people in government. Bush opened the door for stupid people to become President. To add color Jesse Jackson would be the moderator asking questions of the candidates.

The show would travel to inner cites of Detroit, Cleveland and Newark to uncover America's wealth of under privileged community activists individuals who aspire for a life in Political Science. Those who haven't entered a life of crime but lack the resources to run for office.

South Carolina candidate Alvin Green made a dark horse run for the Senate but was brought down by the revelation of pending sexual deviate charges spoiling the election. To bad as he would have been a great fit in the fighting 112th Congress. He lacked the polish of his opponent. He became the poster boy of the Democratic Party similar to Sarah Palin's role in the Republican Party.
I concede TV is a vast wasteland but, so is Congress. Every couple of weeks somebody lets off a stupid bomb in the Chambers and they run like rats. Who can forget the Gay Representative who was accused of molesting his male interns. He claimed it was a tickle fight. Maybe a tickle fight with a happy ending! Or the Senator who apologized to BP for perceived abuse from the American people during the Deep Water Horizon explosions.

These people are not smart. They work the lucrative top of our system while the less fortunate foolishly pilfer nickels and dimes on the lower end welfare roles. In a strange way they feed off each other.