Down and Dirty



Much of our focus recently at Mitoosense has been on this years vegetable garden. We got an early start April 4, 2012. The results of a mild Winter and early Spring.  The size of the garden increased from   17 'x 30' last year to 20' x 150' with another 20' x 50' still to be planted, should I survive. The benefit of our close neighbor and his John Deere 7410. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with John Deere products the 74 refers to 74 Clydesdale's equivalency. The 10 relates to the power of 10 illegal aliens. Truly a large machine capable of turning, plowing, disc and furrowing in a single 20' wide swath.
Planted this year are Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Zucchini, Crooked Neck Squash, Bell Peppers, Jalapeno Peppers and Butter Beans. With the increased size we also included Corn, Cabbage, Cantaloupe, Red Potatoes, Sweet Peppers, Green Beans and Sun Flowers.
For those who have an interest in the location, we are located conveniently off exit 719  East Remote. Traveling about 35 miles just outside of Nowhere. Many people ask "do we get Mail out there". Of course we get Mail. I always check to see if its one of ours also.  Nowhere is not to be confused with Knowhere which is in Georgia.
Nowhere is a small town rich in heritage. Known for being represented on both sides of the Revolutionary and Civil Wars. It is also famous for the only known monument erected to the television show Hee Haw. Look for the monument across the street from Junior Sample's Used Cars and Tractor Museum, located downtown. Nowhere is also a notable leader in plastic Yard Art uncommon in more Urban settings. Residence often go a little overboard on the plastic figures each year when they celebrate the Fire Ant Festival and Parade. We often get visits from celebrity Jack Hanna and National Geographic.
Nowhere was once a prosperous farm community that fell victim to the Industrial Revolution Exodus of residence fleeing to better jobs in the cities. Similar to the residence of Roanoke the descendants were thought to have vanished. Recent DNA evidence indicates these people are now Bar Tenders and Lawn Care Professional, since we exported our manufacturing jobs to China.
If you wish to visit Nowhere we suggest you stop at the Cracker Barrel Restaurant at Exit 719 East and hire a guide and interpreter. If your interested in culture  the McDonald's is located in nearby Oblivion.
Getting back to the garden, the early planting has afforded an earlier harvest projection this year. However, it has also posed many new unseen problems from last years drought ridden crops. The threat of frost is always a danger. More common are heavy rains, high winds and flooding from TS Beryl. The  warm weather and wet Spring has produced a plethora of weeds. In addition we suffered several equipment failures this year due to inclement weather. The handle of the hoe broke and has been repaired twice. It was a cheap, dirty hoe that I should have avoided.  My hoe and rake are referenced as (cultivator) C-1 and C-2 the shovel is marked as D-1 to keep things in proper order.
 Weeds are defined as plants that thrive in any climate wet or dry and neither animals or insects will eat. Safe to say their only enemy is me and I am vastly out numbered. Weeds cannot be killed. I have found the best way to propagate weeds is to dig them up with a hoe, bending down and ripping the roots out with your fingers, then casting off to a sun baked dry barren earth and stomping about with your boots. Followed by a good beating with a wood club or iron instrument. This will always produce two healthy weeds. The donor weed grows back and the new weed grows in a new location. Chopping the weeds will only produce more and smaller weeds exponentially.
The mild Winter has also been enjoyed by the insects. We have a great crop of bugs this year to inherit my hard labor. New bug this year are the Potato Beetle and Bean Bugs. We did not have beans or potatoes last year so they were simply not invited. If you plant it they will come. As I work in the garden the occasional car passes by looking and wondering what I might be doing in the hot sun. I can only say, I share the same thoughts. I am truly, finally considered outstanding in my field.
So if you suffer from a inflated ego and Golf isn't working for you. If your thinking of a visit with the Dali Lama and becoming a reclusive Monk. Try gardening. It may be all you need to adjust your attitude.
Next week we will analyze fishing...