Richard Branson or Sir Richard broke into capitalists history books today. He became the first person to go into space in his own vehicle. Breaking records of the early 1960's Mercury Program and X-15 Space Plane legends. It took some sixty years to install the ticket counters at NASA.
The first commercial flight into space was not without the usual problems. The departure was 3 hours late. Our sources claim Sir Richards luggage went to Omaha. They're working on this issue as priority one. It was also noted the absence of TSA Screening and Cavity Search. Face Masks were never deployed. On return there was no evidence of Immigration Clearance speeding the trip to the nearest bar for celebration.
The achievement still history making and Sir Richard bested Billionaire Book Worm Bezozs by about a week. The most inspiring note is Sir Richard, 71 years old carried out his achievement with a full thick head of hair. We know the Book Worm will never break that record.
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