Checkpoint Charlie

I recently ventured out for a day of errands. My first stop was the bank to cash a check. On the way there I was pulled over in a police check point. They were reportedly looking for intoxicated revellers celebrating the recent holiday observance.

I slowly moved through the line until I got to my interrogator. The officer was in uniform and sported a large piece of artillery on his right hip. His pant legs were tucked inside his large black boots. A nice touch complimenting his desired fashionable Village People look I thought. In a wall mart greeting style monotone voice he asked for my papers.

I gave him my Winn Dixie cards as proof of identification. The Winn Dixie Card has my address with zip code, phone number, magnetic strip, bar code for quick computer scanning in addition to the obvious declaration of my name. It does not however disclose my blood alcohol levels which are the root of my delay. Clearly upset with my document from the grocery, he requested my driver's Operator License. Andy of Mayberry he was not.

Good thing I had my license in my pocket because the law requires me to have it when I operate any car. My state Operator's License has my Social Security Retirement Information embedded in my license number. Not at all sure why as my driving habits are not reflected in my retirement information.

My old license only had pertinent information such as recent traffic violation history and my written signature. Back in the day this is all that was required.

The new license has a very unflattering photo of ME ( they forgot to say cheese) and a really cool hologram (artsy) on the front and a magnetic strip, signature, bar code on the back. The picture and hologram must be important because my Winn Dixie Cards have neither.

He then asked for my insurance. Becoming impatient with the bureaucratic process, I quickly gave him my flight insurance I had just recently purchased at the Airport down the street.

Again I had upset the police interrogator and he demanded my CAR insurance papers. Oh. This is always a problem because insurance papers are always tossed in the glove compartment and forgotten. Poor house keeping is a fault as I have always maintained a high tolerance for filing. I went through several document before locating the most recent date.

The officer seemed upset but I must admit it was secondary to my relief having found the correct paper. Keeping track of all my papers is time consuming and making sure there all current is even more complicated .Mom, apple pie, Chevrolet and paper papers and papers, it's a great country.

Surely I can be dismissed now, he has my complete family life history at his fingertips. I'm certain he now knows if I cried the first day of school, I think I did but, that was long ago. I should have asked him, he would know.

He then asked for my registration. Now were both upset, I've done nothing wrong and I'm not at all sure how long I can maintain this status. I handed him my fishing registration.

Holy Shit, I thought he was gonna vaporize right in front of me. I want your CAR registration he screamed. Easy, the last cop wanted my fishing registration but, I was in a boat.

Relax, the 7"x 12"license plate is on the bumper , did you not see it I replied. No, I want to see the paper copy. Picky Picky Picky. The reflective license plate attached to your bumper is to enable surveillance without your knowledge or consent. It's a public display of your personal information......

Shit, back to the mystery compartment. I pulled out several document until I found the most recent year. This guy was upset when he retired to his air conditioned cruiser, presumably to verify information. He didn't take my Winn Dixie Card, Flight Insurance or Fishing Registration to my dismay. Good thing the Fishing Registration was expired, I think. Ha.

I became concerned that I might need further information so I searched my person for other information he might request and this time I would be prepared. Papers seemed to make him happy and I had clearly not been a good customer thus far.

I found my Passport, Birth Certificate ,Contractors License an old Building Permit and a Parking Receipt to verify more of the obvious. I watched as he exited his air conditioned cruiser and approached my car swinging his arms in lock step.

Your free to go now. I must admit I was a bit disappointed as I had prepared other documents for him and he seemed to be interested in documents.

As I began tossing all my documents in the mystery compartment I wondered "how could he tell my blood alcohol levels from only three documents". Weird Science!

Personally, I would have preferred to an anonymous blow into a Breathalyzer and kept my civil liberties in tact, over violating my entire family history and the US Constitution to a cop. They should just ask you to blow and separate the people who are drunk from those who are going to the bank. I really doubt alcohol was central to the roadblock. I think the roadblock was a rouse to disguise checking my papers. My papers incidentally contains way to much information accessible to a government that reportedly works for me. None of your business I think in order here.

Released to freedom I proceeded to the bank. Down the street there was what appeared to be a parade blocking the right of way. I asked a gentlemen carrying a large sign "I didn't know there was a parade scheduled for today"? He advised it wasn't a parade. They were marching.

Marching for what I asked? He said they were protesting the recent Arizona Immigration Law SB 1070 which requires police to check papers if suspicion of illegal immigration is seen. I said, as I understood the current Federal law requires all legal immigrants to carry documents as agreed when issued.

Yeah maybe, he said I don't know because I'm a walk in. Anyway that's profiling. What is profiling I asked?

It's making you have papers he answered.

You mean you didn't ask for legal entry, your a criminal and your a victim of possible discrimination?

Yeah he replied it's in the Constitution It's the law.

I then asked him where he was from.

He said Yakastonia I think.

I inquired do you have a Operators License, Registration, Insurance Policy, Birth Certificate Passport, or Fishing Registration.

He said of course not, I gotta Winn Dixie Card though.

Good enough for me. I then asked him if maybe I could protest with him as it all sounded legal.

I knew the President of the United States was supportive and profiling is unlawful anyway.

He said I guess it was OK, even though I was a foreigner. I suggested we march up the street to the police blockade. He said they couldn't their Marching Protest Demonstration Permit Papers were only for this block. How can you get a Permit without papers I asked. My new friend said money that's all you need. If you can't fight them maybe we should join the fray.